Not Fine
by very unlikely
Summary: No one comes out of a war unscathed. [post Gaea. one-shot]


Jason needed a break. He couldn't stay here. There were so many reminders...

He threw off his covers and, not bothering to pull on a sweater, walked out of the praetors' house as quietly as he could. He shouldn't even be allowed in there. He was no longer praetor, but Hazel still let him, just for the sake of it. There was also the fact that he would wake up his whole cohort with his screams if he slept in the barracks, and they didn't tend to appreciate that.

"Jason!"

He whirled around towards the source of the noise, drawing his sword reflexively. He relaxed instantly when he saw who it was.

"Haze, you can't do that. Sneak up on people."

"Oh, come on, Superman. Did you really expect me to be asleep?" she asked pointedly.

"Well, you _do_ run a city full of soldiers with PTSD."

Hazel rolled her eyes. "Ninety percent of them fought in the Titan War. I think they're fine."

"But are you?" Jason asked softly. She shook her head. There wasn't any point in lying.

"Of course not. And neither are you, Jase."

That was true. Too many had died during the war against Gaea. Frank and Nico's deaths had understandably hit Hazel especially hard. Jason knew how that felt. Both Piper and Reyna had been killed during that final battle.

"I'm gonna go visit Annabeth," Jason changed the subject. "See how she's doing. You know."

Okay, not much in terms of subject changes. They were right back on the topic of dead people, and Percy Jackson was said dead person.

Hazel nodded. "Good idea. I haven't heard from her in a while. Say hi to Leo from me too, okay?"

"Okay." Jason hesitated, then hugged Hazel, his arms easily encircling her fourteen-year-old frame. She hugged him back instantly. She was so tiny, sometimes it was easy to forget that she was ruling Camp Jupiter on her own after having been through a war which took away her brother and boyfriend. "It'll get better, Hazel," he murmured comfortingly. "I think it will."

He felt her nod into his shoulder, then she pulled away.

"Go, Jason. It'll be easier to travel by night."

He called for Tempest.

"Don't work yourself too hard," he called to Hazel as he mounted the storm horse, then he was off.

Leo couldn't sleep. But then, when could he ever?

He was walking around Camp Half-Blood, and for once, he wasn't making anything. He watched the small orange flames dance across his fingers.

_No._

He sprinted to the lake and jumped in, letting the cold water shock him into a stupor. Here, he couldn't do any damage. Here, he couldn't kill anyone. He was tempted to let himself just sink to the bottom, breath in enough water and be done with it. He shut his eyes, stopped treading water...

A hand plunged into the water and grabbed him by his collar. He felt himself being dragged to the surface.

Annabeth slapped Leo awake.

"LEO VALDEZ!" she shouted. "Who the _fuck_ gave you permission to kill yourself?"

"I don't need-" he spluttered.

"I don't care. Leo. If you die..." She took a shaky breath. "If I'm not allowed, then neither are you." She glared into his no-longer-sparkling brown eyes. "We're the only ones left. Jason and Hazel are at Camp Jupiter. They don't belong here, and I don't belong there. Leo, if you die, where would I go?"

Leo pushed himself up into a sitting position and coughed out the little water he had inhaled.

"I'm s-sorry." His teeth chattered from the cold, and he didn't have enough energy to call up a flame and warm himself up.

_It's better like that. Last time I tried to warm someone up, Frank died._

"Leo." Annabeth's harsh voice cut through the haze of memories. "You have to stop that."

"I know," he mumbled. "I try but..."

"It's okay, Repair Boy." She called him by his old nickname, the one Piper thought up. He could see tears clouding her already-cloudy eyes. "It happens to me too. I'm sorry."

Leo thought it wise to change the subject before it went too far in the wrong direction.

"So...what were you doing out here anyways?"

"I could ask you the same thing," she retorted.

"Yeah, but I asked first."

She rolled her eyes. "Well, if you must know, I was sleeping. Trying to sleep. Whatever."

"What, out here?"

"Yeah. Chiron gave me permission to set up a little camp and stuff." She pointed a little ways over where Leo could see a small flickering fire and a black mound which he figured were blankets. "It makes me feel closer to _him_, you know?"

Leo nodded and put his arm around Annabeth comfortingly. She shuffled closer.

"You're freezing, Leo. Go inside and change. Here," she said, standing up. "I'll walk you." She helped him up and they started towards the Hephaestus cabin.

Hazel watched the sky long after Jason had gone. She just couldn't bring herself to move. It's not like she _had_ to move. It was still the middle of the night, and she might just organize some activity or something tomorrow to get everyone away.

She sighed and sat down.

_Should I or should I not?_

She had been arguing with herself for the past three months on whether to visit Frank and Nico in Elysium. She was allowed to (or at least, she _thought_ she was), her being the daughter of Pluto and all.

"What do you think, Dad?" she asked the air.

_That was_ _stupid._

_He never answers me._

Tempest touched down in front of the Zeus cabin at Camp Half-Blood. Jason dismounted and touched the horse's nose, then turned to face the large stone house. When he turned back, Tempest was gone.

"Jason?" A familiar voice floated across the rectangle of houses. He turned to see a tall blonde girl walking towards him. She glanced back at what Jason thought was the Hephaestus cabin.

"What happened?" he asked, worried. He was always worried these days. It was getting ridiculous.

"Leo tried to drown himself in the lake."

Jason almost cringed at her lack of tact.

"Wow...uh..."

Annabeth let out a huge breath. "Sorry. That was..." She shook her head. "Anyhow," she inserted some false brightness into her voice. "What brings you here?"

"I was coming to check on you."

"Cool." She paused, obviously processing what he had just said. "Wait, what? Why?"

"I've been worried," he explained. "We haven't heard from you in a while."

Annabeth opened her mouth, then closed it, for once not knowing what to say.

"Come with me," she sighed, finally.

Annabeth had been spending her days at the lake. She had everything she needed: food, water, extra clothes, blankets...

Once she'd stayed there for a week and a half without actually going into the camp for any of the activities. They had set up a search party and everything by the time she'd wandered into the mess hall when she ran out of food. Everyone thought that she'd been kidnapped, although some idiot had started a rumor that she'd committed suicide to be with Percy.

She had to admit, the idea was tempting, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. Besides, Percy would kill her (again) if she showed up in the underworld before her time.

Leo huddled under the blankets in Cabin 9.

He couldn't sleep.

He didn't want to sleep.

He was afraid to sleep.

He tore off the blankets, snuck out of the house of sleeping demigods.

He ran back to the lake, positive that Annabeth would be there. He needed to tell her. He had to...

When he got there, Annabeth wasn't alone. Leo hoped she hadn't told Jason about earlier.

"Dude!" he called. Jason turned around and waved him over, smiling.

"Hey Leo. How are you?" he asked.

Okay, so Annabeth _had_ told him.

"Fine, fine."

Annabeth and Jason looked at him, unsmiling.

"Okaaay, not fine then."

"Leo, none of us are fine," the son of Zeus said. "It's been a year, and none of us are fine. What makes you think that we think you are?"

"Uhh..."

"Hazel says hi, by the way," Jason added.

"Oh. I say hi back."

An awkward silence followed. Leo looked out at the still, silent lake, and remembered when it was awake, alight with campers in canoes and naiads and Percy.

Of course, he hadn't actually seen Percy in it. The son of Poseidon had died before the seven got back. But Leo assumed that Percy had made the lake light up in some way or another.

"Leo, I told you to go to bed," Annabeth said suddenly.

Leo rolled his eyes. "Yeah, _mom_. Sure. And I didn't listen."

"Why did you come back, though?" she asked. "If it was just the fact that you couldn't sleep, you would have gone somewhere else, to the woods or something. So why did you come _here_?"

Damn, that girl was smart.

_Daughter of Athena_, he remembered. _Right_.

"Well I... I wanted to tell you something."

"What is it, Leo?" Jason asked.

"I...it's..." He took a deep breath. "Remember when Frank...you know...died?"

"It wasn't your fault, Leo," Annabeth said immediately.

"It was. It was my fire that burned his stick. It was my fucking fire."

Hazel recited the last words that were needed to summon the spirits. She hoped it would work.

Wavering shapes started appearing.

_Please be Nico. Or Frank. Or even Percy or Piper. Just someone, please please please answer this._

"Haze?"

"Nico!" she gasped in relief. "I thought it wouldn't work." She stared at the silvery spirit of her brother.

"What's up?" he asked casually.

"I just...I needed to talk to someone."

"What about Jason? He's staying at Camp Jupiter, right?"

"He went to check up on Annabeth. Make sure she's okay."

"Percy's already keeping an eye on her."

"Yeah, I figured he would."

The gods observed the demigods.

Annabeth Chase.

Hazel Levesque.

Jason Grace.

Leo Valdez.

Each one broken beyond repair.

They saw, and for the first time in their long, unending lives, they felt a little bit of remorse tingling in their godly chests.


End file.
